Q. For children in catechumenate, is it not preferred to have parents present participating with the children and using parish sponsors only when the parents are not able to be present? I am getting a lot of “we always did it that way,” but I want to do things the preferred way.
A. Thanks so much for reaching out. Parents should absolutely be present at the rites for their children. They are a sign of support for their children. RCIA 254 and 254.2 states the importance of parents in the process, and even in the celebration of the rite itself (260). Unless there are some family problems, I wouldn’t celebrate the rites without the presence of the parents, which shows their support and consent.
It would be a good idea to refresh yourself on the Directory for Masses with Children, in particular paragraphs 16-19. The Rite of Christian Initiation of Adults was adapted for children especially in language. But an astute presider should be encouraged to dialogue, ritually, with the children and adapt the prayers from the adult rite, RCIA Part 1. In my own ministry experience, while I have not used the rites within RCIA Part II:1 (Christian Initiation of Children who have Reached Catechetical Age), I have used its principles when accompanying children and their families.
Further, taking RCIA 257 to heart, celebrating with children can be done at the less attended Mass, for example, at a Saturday evening liturgy, so that children might be more at ease.
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