TeamRCIA » Inquiry

Five reasons to stop talking to catechumens

Nick — Sat, 10 Sep 2011 17:54:12 +0000

Silence is awkward. Remember the last time you met someone new? After you exchanged names, your new friend asked, “What do you do?” You replied, “I’m a catechist.” Looooong silence. Awkward.

When we’re meeting with inquirers or catechumens, we try to avoid awkwardness. We don’t want to feel awkward ourselves, and we certainly don’t want the inquirers or catechumens feeling awkward. So we talk. We fill up the silence with chatter.

Sometimes that’s a good thing, especially during inquiry. The new folks usually don’t want to be responsible for the conversation. Often, they have come to listen to you tell them what they are supposed to do. Chatting can help put the inquirers at ease. There comes a moment, however, when we have to stop talking. For many of us, that’s difficult.

Do try this at home

I don’t have all the answers, but I have some suggestions. First, we have to be comfortable with silence when we are alone. How much time each day do you spend just being silent? No reading, no television, no Internet, no Facebook. Just you and silence. For me, it’s not much time at all. I suppose I could say my prayer time is silent, but usually I’m reading a psalm or going over the list of people I promised to pray for. I’m lining up my day in my head and asking God to help me with all my tasks and projects. If anyone else were in the room, they might say I was silent. But in my head, there is a lot of noise going on. True silence is difficult. Even so, if we are going to be comfortable with silence with the inquirers and catechumens, we have to practice being silent with ourselves.

Listen up

The next step is to listen. When I was in college, I learned about “active listening.” Most of us have had at least a little training in active listening. If you haven’t, see this article. I’m not claiming I’m very good at active listening, but in order to know when to stop talking, we have listen to what the other person is saying. If we are listening well, we will hear the needs, wants, and dreams of the person we are listening to. We will also hear a lot of what is not being said. Listening well will help you to ask insightful questions that will spur more conversation from your inquirer or catechumen.

Wait for the answer

Now this is really important. Once you ask a question—stop talking. This is where I get tripped up a lot. If I ask a question that is anywhere close to a vulnerable spot in the inquirer or catechumen, their response is going to be silence. They don’t yet trust me enough to share their vulnerability. So they have to think about it for a second. They have to decide if they want to answer and then carefully phrase how they are going to answer. All this usually takes about five seconds. But five seconds is often way too long for me to wait. I tend to jump in and fill the “awkward moment” with a clarification of what I meant or a change of subject. At that point, the other person is off the hook and feels no need to answer me. So here’s something to try. Next time you ask a question, wait 10 seconds. Then, after you get comfortable with 10 seconds of silence, bump it up to 20 seconds. I guarantee you that in your next conversation, if you can insert just three meaningful questions, each followed by at least 10-seconds silence, you will learn way more about your “quiet” inquirer than you ever thought you would.

Slow down

Another tip that works for me is to talk slower. When I get nervous, I tend to be thinking of the next point I want to make, even as I’m making my first point. To mitigate that, I try to think of my conversation in blocks of threes. For example, suppose you want to tell an inquirer something about your pastor. Think of three qualities of your pastor. Describe the first quality in as much detail as you need to. Then imagine yourself taking a sip of water. Or, actually take a sip of water. Then describe the second quality. Take another sip of water. Finally, describe the third quality. Don’t be surprised if, while you’re sipping, your inquirer begins talking!

Keep your recorder running

My final tip about silence I learned from a journalist. He would tape record all of his interviews while at the same time taking notes. When the interview was over, he stopped taking notes, but he left the tape-recorder running. He said that the most compelling part of the interview often happened after it was “over.” The subject would often relax and say something in a less guarded way because the reporter no longer seemed to be gathering information. You might think that sounds a little duplicitous, but you are not using a tape recorder and you are not looking for a scandalous scoop. You are just using your new skill of not talking to give your inquirers and catechumens a chance to say something meaningful. So, when your session is over, thank the inquirers or catechumens for coming, stand up, gather your things, but keep your mental tape-recorder running. And try not to say too much.

Mother Teresa said, “We need to find God, and he cannot be found in noise and restlessness. God is the friend of silence…. We need silence to be able to touch souls.” Try some of these tips for being silent and see how deeply you will touch souls.

How do you do it?

And please offer your own tips. In what ways have you used listening skills and silence to lead people to a deeper experience of Jesus? Share your thoughts in the comments box, because your experience will help others in their conversations.

Example bulletin announcement for initiation ministry

Nick — Mon, 11 Jul 2011 02:54:42 +0000

ARE YOU SOMEONE OR DO YOU KNOW SOMEONE WHO…

Has expressed an interest in becoming Catholic?
Has a child over the age of seven who has not been baptized?
Was baptized Catholic as a child, but has not celebrated the Sacraments of Confirmation and Eucharist?

We offer an opportunity to come together in a small group to learn more about our faith. Sessions focus on the teachings and experience of Church and prepare individuals to celebrate the Sacraments of Baptism, Confirmation, and Eucharist during the Easter season. There are separate sessions for children or youth. You are welcome to participate in the process with your questions, your insights and your faith story in a warm accepting setting. For information please contact [NAME] at [PHONE, EMAIL].

Four simple steps to a year-round RCIA process

Nick — Mon, 07 Jun 2010 14:52:39 +0000

Is your initiation process “closed” for the summer? Try these four steps to get inquirers involved without adding a lot of extra work for your team.

Invite the inquirers to come to Mass
Invite the inquirers to parish events
Invite the inquirers to parishioners’ homes
Invite the inquirers to help with a service project

Why do children need an RCIA inquiry process?

Rita Burns Senseman — Tue, 16 Mar 2010 20:08:42 +0000

Why do we need inquiry for children? In the cases of younger children, it seems pointless. The parents have made up the children’s minds for them. They will enter this process and finish it because their parents said so. Why not start these children with Christianity 101 and go on from there?

Thanks for your question on a precatechumenate for children. It does seem like sometimes children are only in the process because their parents want them to be, although that can be the very reason why a precatechumenate is important! While the parent may want baptism for the child, the child may not even be evangelized. At other times, a precatechumenate may not be necessary.

Let’s begin by looking at whether or not children benefit from a precatechumenate. First, it depends on the needs and the background of the particular child. The precatechumenate “is a time of evangelization” (RCIA, 36) when children hear the good news and develop their relationship with the living God and Jesus Christ. This time of “initial conversion” (RCIA, 37) is extremely important for children who have not yet been become consciously aware of their intimate and loving relationship with God. In order to ensure conversion, before we begin “Christianity 101″ we must first see to it that the child is aware of her or his relationship with God. In other words, initial conversion comes first and then the catechesis.

Indeed, the General Directory for Catechesis echoes a similar point in paragraph 62. The GDC says that the “first stage in the catechetical process” is dedicated to “ensuring conversion.” A “pre-catechesis” (or a precatechumenate) must precede catechesis if we want to nurture conversion in the child, which is of course the goal of initiation with children (RCIA, 253).

Moreover, what I have just described in the previous two paragraphs is for children who have not yet been evangelized and thus need a precatechumenate. In my experience, some, if not many, of the children who come to us need evangelization. They have not yet heard the good news, they are unfamiliar with the Scriptures and unaware of God’s deep, unconditional love for them. It is not an uncommon that when I do the initial pastoral visit with a child, he or she is not able to speak about God. In other words, they “know” very little of God’s love for them. They have not yet been evangelized.

One example may illustrate this point. Recently, I interviewed an inquiring family during the Advent/Christmas season. The child was not able to tell me anything she knew about God and did not know any stories from the Bible. Trying to help her along and thinking that the story of “Baby Jesus and Three Kings” would sound familiar, I asked her if she had ever heard this story. She stared at me blankly.

Even though many people would say that North America is a Christian society, many children have not heard the good news of God’s saving love. Thus, many children need a precatechumenate before we begin the more formal catechesis of the period of the catechumenate.

On the other hand, some inquiring children come to us already evangelized. These children may be baptized or unbaptized. The key is evangelization. If they are evangelized and at least somewhat aware of their relationship with Jesus Christ, then they probably don’t need the period of the precatechumenate. The initial pastoral interview will help you and the parents discern what best meets the needs of the child. And, as you well know, the needs of each child and family will be different.

How will you respond this Easter to visitors interested in the Catholic Church?

Diana — Thu, 09 Apr 2009 10:30:14 +0000

Here’s the scenario:

You’ve just finished a long but wonderful Easter Vigil. After months of weekly meetings, leading dismissal sessions, and doing discernment interviews, all the Elect have been baptized, and you’re looking forward to the last few gatherings of the RCIA post-Triduum before you take a well-deserved summer break.

As you’re gathering up all the wet towels from the baptisms and getting ready to head home, a young woman shyly walks up to you.

“Hi. I came here tonight because a friend of mine sings in the choir. I really liked the service. Um, I’m not Catholic or anything, but I think I want to be.”

The towels are cold against your arms, but your spirit is warmed by her inquiry about becoming Catholic.

“Hey, that’s great! We’ll start up the RCIA again in September. You can come and join us then!”

She doesn’t look as excited as you thought she’d be.

“RCIA? Uh, okay. Thanks. I’ll come back then.” She walks away and out the door.

How much will you bet she’ll come back in September?

You and I know that really isn’t the issue. Rather, why does she have to wait until September to continue what the Holy Spirit has begun in her?

Catechumenate directors who have experienced this very scenario tell me that when they said, “Come back in September,” they knew it didn’t feel right. For some of them, it was the moment they decided to change the way their parish did the RCIA.

This Triduum and throughout the Easter season, with its weddings, First Communions, and Confirmations, you will have many visitors like the woman above. Will you tell them to come back in the fall? Or will you have a way for them to connect right away with the parish and the way of life of a Christian?

You don’t necessarily need to give up your vacation. You don’t even have to have RCIA meetings every week of the year. But you do need to make use of the parish’s everpresent resources: its weekly gatherings, especially on Sundays, and its parishioners. These resources can immediately help a person begin the initiation process.

If your formal initiation gatherings don’t begin until the fall, don’t beat yourself up or try to do more than is reasonable. Instead, connect your inquirer with a faithful parishioner. Ask this person to just be a friend for this inquirer, someone who’ll sit with them at Mass, have coffee or a meal with them once in a while, and just be someone the inquirer can talk to about their questions. Then when your formal gatherings begin again four or five months from now, your inquirer can participate in those sessions, continuing the process of initiation that had begun on that Easter Vigil night.

Here’s the story of an actual inquirer who experienced this very thing last Palm Sunday. Kudos to this parish for being ready to respond even in the midst of Holy Week!

And click here for more ideas on doing inquiry any time of year.

Does RCIA work for shy people?

Nick — Wed, 12 Nov 2008 01:34:43 +0000

What should we do with people who just want to be baptized without participating in any formation sessions or rituals? Some people are shy and do not want to be put on the spot. Should we just baptize them because they desire it, or do we put them through an individual program, ignoring the benefits of the community? Or do we just let them walk away as they go looking for another church?

My suggestion would be to first assign a very strong, trust-inspiring sponsor to such person. The sponsor’s job would be to be constantly present and reassuring to the seeker.

You might also adapt the way you hold your catechetical sessions so the seeker never feels put on the spot. For example, the seeker, the sponsor, and a couple of parishioners who are friends of the seeker (or will become friends of the seeker) might meet regularly for coffee and talk about questions the seeker has.

That might go on once a week for several months until the seeker feels ready to share some thoughts with a little bit larger group. When the seeker is finally ready to take the next step, the Rite of Acceptance could be celebrated at a smaller Sunday liturgy, like the early morning Mass or the Saturday evening Mass. If even that is too scary, it could be celebrated at a weekday Mass.

I think part of the seeker’s spiritual journey has to be to find a way to share his or her faith publicly, even that sharing is in very small and safe environments. The reason to baptize, after all, is to initiate catechumens into the mission of sharing the gospel with others.

What do others think? How have you handled a shy seeker?

Six lessons on evangelization from a tennis guy

Nick — Tue, 12 Aug 2008 15:17:13 +0000

I was at a party recently, and I knew very few people. I was wandering around from conversation to conversation, trying to pick up a thread I could contribute to, and not having much luck. Then I realized I was standing next to a man who, I had overheard someone else say, was a tennis player. I don’t like tennis, I don’t watch it, I don’t play it. I think it’s boring, difficult to master, a bit elitist, and expensive.

But I figured I could at least spend five minutes making small talk about it.

“So, you play tennis?” I asked.

Thirty minutes later, my new friend Jay had my phone number and my e-mail address and had me seriously considering taking lessons. This guy is an on-fire evangelist for tennis.

Put some spin on your pre-catechumenate with these simple techniques

I think we can use Jay’s techniques to improve our own evangelization skills. Here’s what Jay did:

Jay didn’t tell me he played tennis. It just became acquired knowledge, because Jay is so thoroughly “the tennis guy” in that community. Everyone around him knows he’s a tennis player. Lesson: Be so obviously Christian that everyone knows you are one, even if you don’t say so.
Jay must have told me a dozen times how great his fellow tennis players are—not as players, but as people. He told me how welcoming and kind they are and how they are just great folks. Lesson: Most “seekers” are looking for a community. Talk about what you like about your community.
The whole time Jay was talking, his face was beaming. He was smiling and nodding his head. His enthusiasm was catchy. Lesson: Be excited about the faith. Let your enthusiasm show.
Jay remembered my name. He used my name a lot when he was talking to me. He told me he’d get my phone number and e-mail address before the party was over. And he did. Lesson: Be genuinely interested in the seeker. Be interested enough to remember his name and how to contact him.
Jay told me what my next step should be. He told me not to bother with private lessons. “Too expensive,” he said, “and you don’t need that.” He told me to take free clinics at his club. “They’re held on Saturday mornings and Wednesday evenings after work.” Lesson: Hold regular “free clinics” that are convenient and that you can invite seekers to. And then invite them.
Jay was obviously a good tennis player. I asked him if he’d been playing since he was a child—thinking that’s when all the good tennis players started. “I started in college,” he said. “Then I quit six years later when I had kids and didn’t start again until I was 50.” I’m 50. I asked Jay how long it would take me to get good enough to have fun. “Six months,” he said. I thought, I can do that. Lesson: Make it sound completely doable for someone to become Catholic, no matter what their situation is. Because it is doable.

I saved this one for last, because the time issue is one of the biggest objections of many seekers. And that objection gets reinforced by many RCIA leaders who promote an abbreviated catechumenate. A complete catechumenate takes too much time, they say. Notice, though, Jay didn’t tell me I’d be as good as he is in six months. In six months, I could make it to beginner status. I’d know enough that I could get on court and hit the ball back over the net fairly often.

And for someone who really wants to learn how, they can easily start being Catholic within six months. They cannot get baptized until they have been in the catechumenate for a full liturgical year, but they can get on the court and begin to feel pretty confident about their faith. Being a catechumen is being Catholic.

How about you? What do you think of Jay’s techniques? Do you use any of them? Do you have any others to add? Hit the comments link, and let us know.

(This article originally appeared in Today’s Parish Minister, September 2008.)

When an inquirer doesn't want to do faith sharing

Nick — Tue, 10 Jun 2008 17:46:40 +0000

What do you do when an inquirer wants to get to the “nitty-gritty” about the Catholic Church and “God” and does not really want to faith share or hear other’s stories about God in their life?

In the precatechumenate, the inquirer sets the agenda. So I’d answer whatever questions he had, nitty, gritty, and otherwise. If he wants to get baptized, he will eventually need to learn to grow in and share his faith. It is a prerequisite for celebrating the Rite of Acceptance. See paragraph 42. He can remain in the precatechumenate for a long as he needs to, asking whatever questions he needs to. However, until he shows the beginnings of a spiritual life, he cannot be a candidate for the Rite of Acceptance.

Expanding yourself for a continuous RCIA process

Nick — Fri, 06 Jun 2008 00:58:58 +0000

One of the reasons often given for doing only a partial RCIA process is a lack of volunteers. So let’s look closely at how you can redeploy your current volunteers more efficiently. I’m going to imagine you have a team of three people, plus sponsors or godparents as needed. You may have fewer than that, but these principles will still work. Certainly if you have more than that, they will work.

Limit the inquiry process to true seekers

Let’s look at inquiry. What is the inquiry period in the first place? Flip open your RCIA text to paragraph 36 and underline this sentence:

It is a time of evangelization. Thus those who are not yet Christians, their hearts opened by the Holy Spirit, may believe and be freely converted to the Lord.

So inquiry is not a place for Christians. Usually. It is sometimes the case that a person baptized as a child was never raised in the faith and has never “freely converted to the Lord.” That Christian could be in inquiry. But the faithful Protestants who are married to Catholics, who believe in Jesus and go to church, do not belong in inquiry. Where do they belong? That’s a subject for another post, but the short answer is, if they believe in Jesus and they are going to church, they are not our first concern.

To see what I mean, flip open another book, if you have it: the General Directory for Catechesis. (You can also read it online.) Turn to paragraph 46:

The Church “exists in order to evangelize” that is “the carrying forth of the Good News to every sector of the human race so that by its strength it may enter into the hearts of men and renew the human race”.

The period of inquiry is for those who have never heard the Good News, or who have only recently heard it, and have felt something stir in their hearts.

In many places, if you start dealing with only the unconverted in the inquiry stage, you will be dealing with many fewer people. If you are used to having something like a six week “precatechumenate,” and you go from perhaps 20 “inquirers” to three or four true seekers, the psychic workload is less. But you still have those six weeks to cover. And I’m sitting here urging you to turn that into 52 weeks. How is that going to work?

Two steps to a continuous inquiry

Let me suggest two steps. First, take your six meetings and spread them out evenly over the course of a year. If you can manage to meet once a month, great! But if not, stick with every other month for now.

Next, go round up all those folks you would have gotten anyway to be sponsors for the Protestants. Ask them each to take a week of the year to invite the inquirers to dinner, or coffee, or their kid’s soccer game. They don’t have to do any teaching. They just have to “be Catholic” in front of the inquirers. Get them to commit to as many weeks as you need to fill the year. If you would have had 20 sponsors, they would each need to commit to three or four weeks out of the year. Ten would-have-been sponsors means each of them picking up eight weeks. Not doing anything extra except setting out more plates. If you can’t get enough help to cover all the weeks of the year, cover two or three weeks out of each month.

The great part of this is, inquirers can start at anytime of the year. Someone shows up in July, you send them to Shirley’s house for dinner. Someone comes in October, they go with Joe’s family to pick out pumpkins. Meantime, you are holding your monthly or semi-monthly sessions with the inquirers to discover what their questions are and what they are learning about Catholics.

Obviously, this is all going to be a lot easier with more help. So don’t settle for this plan; use it as a starting place. Always be asking folks to help you and to take on more responsibility. Eventually, the Spirit will lead you to future team members. But for now, you can take your current workload and redistribute your energy into a continuous inquiry process.

In a future post, I’ll discuss how you might try a similar method with catechetical sessions for the catechumens. In the meantime, chime in on the comments and let me know why you think this will or won’t work in your particular setting.

Is your RCIA team creating a memorable first impression?

Nick — Sun, 27 Jan 2008 22:08:53 +0000

Was your liturgy memorable today? Chances are, there was someone in the assembly who was visiting your parish for the first time. If not this week, then next week or the week after, for sure. When they get home, will they remember your parish? Will they return?

It’s not difficult to create a lasting memory among the visitors and potential inquirers, but it does take a commitment to a consistent effort. The trick is to get everyone in the assembly thinking about what they can do to create a memorable experience. It can start with everyone on your RCIA team and gradually extend out to the rest of the parish. Take a look at this inspiring video to see what one bag boy did to transform the grocery store he worked in.

[via Your best just got better]